Are You Dissing Me?: What Animals Really Think

By Simon Winheld

A hippo concerns that her MFA is completely lifeless. A cardinal has roommate difficulties. A hummingbird is keen to hitch a social community. A bush child teeters at the part (You wanna throw down?!) right here for the 1st time are the innermost recommendations of our hairy and feathered buddies, who—it is ultimately revealed—humorously percentage an identical anxieties, frustrations, and preoccupations as we do. no matter if it is a raccoon fretting approximately his judgmental buddies, a buffalo impatiently expecting his dumplings, or a sloth considering a profession in stand-up comedy, every one colorfully illustrated critter captures a second of contemporary flux—and jointly they bring about an irresistibly humorous portrait of a nation either wild and amusingly well-known.

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Hoi- fireplace! / ... sizzling fire!! sizzling FIRE!!! " I'm switching to gum, reason mints do not do shit. information flash: If i am deciding to buy dinner, it really is reason i suppose you are unmarried! ... Are you... Are you dissmq me eleven I met a lady on-line. it is not excellent, but... possibly if I Comb my hair this way... HOTFIIIRW! I simply stumbled on Vietnamese nutrients! My female friend is anxious approximately becoming her mother. &CA+ Iner A mother is scorching! i think like shoving a few childrens. You... You wanna throw down? i'm so freakin' excessive right away. I by no means get laid. A^. t\ gotta. begin consuming larger. i feel "I'm gonna surrender my task and test Stand-up And than i used to be like: n "No, fowl legs! " Get it? I suggest, i am lovely hilarious I obtained laid. How do you definitely recognize whilst goat cheese has long past undesirable? Am I falling down? Jeff stated past that i used to be racist. i'm T so no longer a racist! My cousin ate a whole. bag of these mini cheese wheels after which had a seizure. it is all a bit fuzzy... yet i believe i used to be ejected from a marriage final evening. ... Yep. Shoot. Thaaat... waaaa... ... me. Oof I larger make a few mobilephone calls. Sorry approximately the racket. we've got been creating a lot of whoopee. There are such a lot of issues i cannot unsee... My female friend retains spending funds we do not- have I'm like, "Baby, you don't want one other shirt! what percentage blouses do you need?! " I did't do Shit this present day. I hate whilst i am on the videos and a few big-headed doofus sits in entrance of me. i am like "Dang it manner u me, man?! " but then I simply stare at this head and picture my very own motion picture! i am 3O and that i nonetheless doh't have a boyfriend. i am at that lousy top the place if ladies put on heels, they are taller than me. okay, not more Strip golf equipment or qluten.... good, qluten besides. while i used to be more youthful, Mama-told me to "Stay clear of these nasty boys! " yet these days? I do what i need! One time I bought over fifty "likes" for a specific thing I published. I nonetheless give it some thought. i assumed of shopping for weed From a type of dispensaries, yet it sounds as if you must get a notice. wager i will simply name that bizarre chick Leslie back. i am considering working for workplace. sure! moR Leevs L&Vsl Are we gonna take this mendacity down? Leedrship uhconimy ALOth! Fawr Prezadint Yeah, i have a few. substantial plans. That rock completely moved Acknowledgments Many because of Steve Mockus, Neil Egan, and everybody at Chronicle Books. To my family and friends: Colin Burnett, Jim Anderson, mother, Dad, and Herschel. And to all of the animals, all over the place. in regards to the writer Simon Winheld is an illustrator and an actor. He lives in long island urban on a swivel chair. wish extra Chronicle Ebooks? CLICKHERE! Get Freebies, reductions, and extra!

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